Will this structured meal plan make me gain weight? If I have dinner with a friend, will I be able to stop the urge to binge after we eat? I’ve had this eating disorder for 15 years, what if I never recover from bulimia?
This is the insanity of the worry-based bulimic mind.
One of the best things I studied about how to stop bulimia was the importance of my language. The every day words I use. I was reminded about how lazy I had become in my language because I’m starting to work with my coach again. She’s helping me make the distinction between the story I was telling myself and how to tell my life as a new story. It’s eye opening how slack I’ve become in the use of my words.
The Energy of Worry
One of my favorite “ah-ha” moments came a few years ago when I had new insights about the power of worry. Actually, the powerlessness of worry is a better way of putting it. You see worry is a fear based emotion, not a love based, higher emotion.
Being in a state of worry weakens us – energetically, emotionally, spiritually. It’s a state of resistance from our natural state of well being.
What I want you to learn here is everything I’ve studied about worry and how to leave worrying behind you…now and forever. I think there are varying levels of worry (worrying about losing your job vs worry about making the about-to-change green/red light) and they impact us differently.
One of the things I want you to understand now before we begin is that I’m recommending you only let in a very small amount of worry into your life after you read this article. I have weaned myself (and even my friends around me) off of worry because I know every minute you spend in a state of worry is only attracting what you don’t want – or worse – keeping you from that which your heart truly wants. Bulimia recovery I hope is one of those things you most want. If you’re worrying about whether you can have it, then you’re pushing away from what you want most.
Worry in Action
I’ve been coaching a woman for a short time leading up to the holidays. In almost every email she sent me she commented about her fear that when she had Christmas dinner with her family something bad would happen. Well, she had many positive days and then on Christmas day it happened. What she feared, or worried about most, came true.
I’m here to tell you the Universe is very, very reliable. It will give you what you focus and put energy towards. If you’re worrying about a relapse or a binge, worrying about whether you’ll be bulimic for the rest of your life, worrying about the ill effects bulimia is having on your body you are attracting all of that to you. The Universe does not understand “no”. It focuses upon whatever you’re focused upon and brings it to you. Every time.
Allow me to introduce new insights to you about what worry is and what you can do to stop worrying so much.
What is worry (or worrying)?
Here’s my definition:
Worry is belief in the worst outcome coming true.
Worry is putting energy in the direction of what you don’t want coming about. If you believe in the law of attraction like I do, you know that whatever you put energy towards and focus on you will attract to you. I say, careful what you focus on because you’ll bring it about. Said slightly differently: what you resist persists.
For me, worrying is like praying for bad things to happen in your life.
What does worry do to the body?
Worry is a nasty state we put our bodies into. None of which supports health or well being. When you worry you’re in a state of anxiety and your body responds the same way it would react to a physical danger.
To help you cope, your brain releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol into your bloodstream. These chemicals trigger a range of reactions that get your body ready for action.
Some common physical reactions when you worry are:
- Increased heart rate
- heavier breathing
- increased sweating
- skin becomes pale as the blood moves towards muscles to help prepare for “fight”
If you do just a little online research about worry and the physical response, you’ll quickly learn that over a prolonged period of time raised levels of these chemicals may start to have a toxic effect on your glands, your nervous system and the heart, eventually leading to heart attacks, increased risk of stroke and stomach ulcers. In more mild situations, you’re introducing stress into the body which can cause a weakened immune system leading to more infections, colds, and more serious illnesses.
I don’t think you would consciously choose to introduce your body to these symptoms or effects. But your practiced way of being is likely one of worrying. You’re comfortable with it. You’re used to it. Your friends expect it from you.
Now that you know the bad effects of worry on your body, would you like to learn about what you can do differently?
What can I do to stop worrying?
There are a lot of things you can do to stop worrying and I have 3 tips that have helped me stop worrying:
- Catch yourself in the act – notice your thoughts, what you’re talking to people about, what you’re researching on the internet or are planning. If your thoughts or words including things like “I’m worried how this will turn out.” “What will I do if s/he does that?” “Maybe I should start doing this because that could happen.” Thoughts like this are signs you’re worrying. Be on high alert mentally and listen to the conversations you’re having with people. Some people are worry magnets in our life – they love to hear what we’re worrying about. Don’t talk to that person if they just incite your fears and help you stir your pot.
- Use new language – one of the things my students often enjoy are the nifty ways I replace fear-based language with possibility language. In this case, I suggest you replace WORRY with WONDER. Worry is fear based, disempowering and weakens your body. Wonder introduces possibility, positivity, and allows you to attract the outcome you really want.
- Renew your faith – fear and worry remind us we’ve lost our faith. Faith in what’s possible for us. Faith in our higher self. Faith in thoughts like “everything works out for me”. There are many things you can do to strengthen your faith including meditation, going to church, listening to uplifting videos or audios, remembering to find things to appreciate…there are lots of ways.
For me, replacing my disempowering language with new words was huge. I can’t tell you how – almost overnight – I gained so much of my power back. This is not to say that I never ever ever use the word worry when thinking or talking, but I know that the impact of replacing worry with wonder had on my every day life made such a difference it’s hard to express in words the shift in my life.
All I can say is TRY IT!
For the next 30 days catch yourself whenever you think or say worry and replace it with wonder.
Turn it into a game. Notice it when you’re with your friends, too. Get to a point that worry is like nails on a chalk board for you – it hurts your ears so badly that you physically respond and counteract that worry energy with possibility thinking.
I knew I was on track with tip #1 above (catch yourself in the act) because I was really hyper sensitive to hearing the word worry in conversations. It was like an alarm would go off inside me when I heard that word. I’d catch myself – or friends – using the word, I’d stop to recognize what I was talking about and then shift the energy towards possibility/wonder.
A Few Last Words
Worry puts you in a state of fear. I don’t let myself live in a state of worry because it does not serve me. If you want to attract what you don’t want, then worry about it. If you want to stay open to having a positive outcome in a situation, then wonder about it. Wonder leaves the door open to the magic of the Universe to deliver the best possible outcome.
On a bulimia recovery level, if you’re worrying about food, binging and purging, eating out with friends or family then you, too, are attracting what you don’t want. I’d suggest you notice the feelings you have in your body about a particular situation and remember that you can be, do or have anything you want for yourself and your life. If you realize you’re focusing on a negative outcome and can begin to say and think new thoughts you can have an effect on the outcome.
Yes, just by thinking and focusing on the outcome you want you can have an effect on the outcome. Being aware of the energy you’re sending out is the key.
Try replacing WORRY with WONDER for the next 30 days and let me know how it works for you. Will you take this on?