Are you being run by that crazy voice in your head? You know the one.…
I’m pretty freakin’ excited. I’m about 10 days away from attending my first Tony Robbins event in Los Angeles.
Totally transformed my life.
You see, I never went to a traditional bulimia recovery treatment program (in or outpatient). I only did a few sessions with a therapist in the early days. I went to Overeaters Anonymous in my teens, but that wasn’t what helped me stop binging and purging every day.
What I did do was a lot of immersion work in self-discovery (also called personal development personal growth) workshops since 2005. I continue to read books on eating disorders here and there, but mostly to educate myself about what traditional therapies prescribe. I read a hell of a lot more books on self-growth than anything else.
I had bulimia for 20 years, so maybe my path wasn’t the fastest path to recovery in history. But, I did make it to the other side and my path out was by going in.
Going in to the center of me. Finding out what makes me tick. Finding out why I am the way that I am. What makes me unique. Lovable. Beautiful. Worthy.
What makes me…well, ME.
It’s an incredible journey this thing called life and I see it now as a Gift. Life to me is like a big classroom where I get to learn what I want (and don’t want) and make new requests of my higher self every minute I’m breathing.
It’s a totally different perspective than I used to have. That’s for darn sure.
I used to think things happened to me, I used to blame others and I was at the mercy of my eating disorder (addiction). Now I know that’s all bullsh*t. I am absolutely the creator of my life. I see now I’m an empowered woman.
I went into the depths of who I am to discover I am a powerful being. I am a magnificent manifester. I am a deliberate creator. I am a beautiful woman with a divine soul on the inside.
We are all inspired beings here to create and enjoy life. Somehow we just lose our way. Forget this stuff. Listen to what other people have to say and forget what we’re born knowing. The sweet smell of our own creation. Life. Life is what we’re here creating…and our Self.
I say all this because I’ve been in a bit of a lull lately.
*aside – really great book my dear friend loaned to me that I’m loving right now called The Nine Modern Day Muses (and a Bodyguard)
It’s great to have enlightened friends because they don’t let you dwell or sit on your laurels. They have ideas to uplift and inspire you. My friend loaned me her muse book and it talks about how for creative people there is naturally a muse called “Lull“.
Lull is divine.
She’s the Muse of Pause, Diversion, and Gratitude.
Gosh, that’s perfect for where I am at right now. I’ve been feeling a bit Lull-ish in anticipation of the transformation I know is around the corner.
You see, after doing more than 20 personal development workshops in my life and living a life of daily growth where I surround myself with people who don’t let me slack off and go back to sleep, I know that a 4 day Tony Robbins event is going to rock my world.
So, lulling before a big rush of transformation feels pretty darn normal to me now. Two weeks ago I felt awkward, nervous, and anxious. But then I heard about my Muse Lull and she put all that to rest.
I’ve been resting my body, mind and spirit. In preparation for what’s coming.
And I’ve got to tell you I’m starting to get pret-ty darn excited about next week. Being 10 days out the excitement is at about a 3, so there’s more to come.
I can just imagine the writing you’ll hear from me on the other side of that weekend.
Whew boy! Look out girlfriend. She’s gonna be on fire.
Ever seen a woman with a rocket under her? I think that’s what I’ll feel like.
With fun and excitement.
With gratitude for all that is happening now and will unfold.
There is much stirring deep within me that I’m bringing to the weekend workshop. I look forward to sharing with you what comes of the weekend and encourage you to reach out to me if you’d like to join me. Again, it’s in Los Angeles starting March 21st. Come!
It’s been great enjoying my lull time. I’ve spent a lot of time in my garden lately. Oh, with the help of a magnificent landscaper and my hard-working husband. Here’s the backyard we’ve created…so far.