Feeling frustrated [with yourself] and want to create a lasting change in your life? Here's…
If there’s anything I’ve learned about recovering from bulimia the past 7+ years it’s doing what makes me feel good. I wasn’t always this way. Well, sort of…
I was an only child and I’m learning right now that I actually have a really strong “I can do it myself” survival-ego-self . It’s painfully dominant and really causes me to isolate and drive myself crazy trying to do everything for myself.
There was some research I read a long time ago that said a high percentage of bulimics are controlling personalities and people-pleasers. I have to agree with the controlling thing – that goes right in line with my have-to-do-it-myself-ego. The people pleasing is where I veer off course a little. I think this ego/survival instinct I learned as a child makes me fend for myself. In order to survive with this mentality, I don’t always find myself pleasing others. Sometimes, yes, but not always.
[polly_newsletter_form] So why did I just tell you all of that?
If you’ve ever heard the phrase“follow your bliss”, it may seem like a Cinderella-like fantasy that only some people get to live that way. I took it to heart when I listened to an Abraham Hicks video a long time ago that said that when we follow our bliss we find ourselves enjoying life. Living as we were supposed to. Bliss sounds like a pretty good state to me. Do you agree?
How Do I Follow My Bliss?
It’s all about the feeling ba-by.
When I had bulimia I was not only really bad at knowing what I was feeling, but I also shut out my feelings. By my feelings I mean most versions of them – the physical sensations, the 6th sense intuition, and especially the emotional sensations. (Mental was about the only sensation(?) I’d let myself have and it was usually the senseless, annoying mind-chatter, negative self-talk. No fun!)
In the past few years I’ve been tuning my receptors slowly but surely towards picking up on all of my sensations. I’m more aware of my body’s physical needs – good (vital, energetic, strong, flexible) and bad (sore, tired, weak, tight) than ever before. I’m more aware of my emotional responses to situations (enthusiasm, passion, boredom, anger, impatience). I’m also more in tune with my intuition, or my higher self, and I think that tuning in has made more of the difference in my life than just about anything else combined.
When I say I’m connected to my intuition, my higher self, I don’t mean I hear God talking to me all day every day. I don’t sit around in a yoga position and feel the spaciousness of the Universe 20 hours a day either (although that might be nice actually). Nothing like that.[polly_book]
I have my higher and lower vibration moments for sure. What all of my inner journeys and spiritual development work has helped me to find is an inner knowing. I have felt my soul. My Spirit. And I’ve felt yours, too. [smile]
I know I’m connected to infinite Spirit as we all are. Knowing that and feeling that is very comforting and something I never ever felt when I had bulimia.
Wow – I’m totally rambling. That’s funny. Guess I’m following my writing bliss.
Ok, back to following your bliss.
My Follow Your Bliss Prescription
Today, if I were your recovery doctor I’d prescribe you bliss. Follow your bliss all day every day as much as possible. You see what I’ve learned is that when I’m feeling good from a spiritually connected, higher vibrational point I will naturally attract into my life everything that’s a match to what my heart truly desires. When I was bulimic I continually had negative self-talk, fear of people, and self-loathing. Because of the law of attraction,I was always and only attracting more of that. Yuck!
The practice I do now is to find a good feeling place and hold that vibration for a minute or two. That’s all it takes really. Catch yourself having a positive/exciting/happy moment. Milk it!
I’ll be honest. I’m not sitting around doing 8 hours of yoga or meditation every day. I love them both, but you can find blissful moments every day if you’re open to seeing/feeling them..
Finding bliss for me starts when I’m appreciating things. I know a lot of women in bulimia or anorexia recovery are taught how to wake up and reach for the feeling of appreciation by thinking about 10 things they have to be grateful for that day. It’s simple and you can really get on a roll. I don’t stop when I get to 10 – just play with it and feel as wonderful as you can first thing in the day. That will set your vibration for the whole day and you’ll attract more of the things that make you feel good all day.
Finding something to appreciate when I’m having a less than positive moment is also part of my practice. If I’m talking to someone who’s frustrating me, I just read an upsetting email or I’m just bored and in line at the store. I look for a nice view out the window, a pretty flower in the garden, the smile on someone’s face, the sound of soft music or the smell of some pretty perfume. Whatever it takes to just raise your vibration a little in that moment. It’s not some overhaul you’re looking for her. Itsy bitsy steps every day will make a bigger difference in your day.
Bulimia Self-Help Technique
Another tip involves something we do all day long; [emotional] decision making.
I have been practicing decision making based upon my emotional body and spiritual body more often than practical/logical mental body for a few years now. I believe my connection to spirit will not only guide me in the direction that serves me best, but it will feel good along the way.
When I’m making decisions I don’t weight the pro’s and con’s (yeah, sometimes I still do), but instead I look at which ones feels best in my body. Which one choice – if I took it – would feel better.
This thought feels good. This vision feels better than that vision. This feels better than that. I choose this or I choose that because it makes me feel better. This decision that decision. A little bit at a time.
Everything we think we want in life is only because we think we’ll feel better in the having of it.
If I can feel good when I’m thinking about my choice, I’m actually getting what I want now. (more on that in an other post maybe) I’ve made myself a vibrational match to what I want so I’m certain it will now come.
As I told my good friend about a month ago…
“Do only what you want to do”
She was stunned when I first gave her this idea. I mean almost speechless. Her response after she thought about it was “How can I do that? Everything in my life I do is because of have to or because someone else wants/needs me to do it.” I gave her this suggested prescription because she lives a life in a body with a lot of “symptoms” and pain. I told her about how our bodies are connected to everything and if we’re not feeling well it’s because of something we’re thinking and/or feeling. I recommended she try feeling her way to better feelings each day one small decision at a time. The short story is that a month later (and along the way) she told me she was not only feeling better in her body than she ever has, but she’s amazed at what other things in her life are turning out beyond her belief. She was the one holding herself in the belief that she had to do what other people wanted and when she stopped doing that she was actually amazed that people were ok with it. Yeah!
Now, let me tell you there are going to be days when you have to do things you don’t want to do and you’re not always going to initially want to do everything you need to do (cleaning house/chores, run kids around town, etc). However, the idea is to move your vibrational tone into a higher vibration in little moments. We practice this shift for things we don’t necessarily want to do most easily just by changing our thoughts. Think a different thought. That’s it.
When you think a different thought about doing something you don’t want to do, you can change your vibration around it and you’ll actually enjoy it much more when you do. I’m certainly not here to say that everything in life will be peaches and roses, but if we can manage our vibrational relationship towards our actions, we’re in alignment (and it feels so good) instead of swimming upstream and bucking our current and not feeling good.
Do only what you want to do. That’s now my prescription for you.
Give doing only what you want to do some practice for at least the next two weeks. Instead of being a people pleaser, control freak (like I was!) try on being a vibrational match to what makes you feel good.
Ask yourself when you’re faced with a decision or an action you are about to take “which one makes me feel good?” And then do that one! If you more often than swimming upstream and doing the one that you must or think you have to do (probably out of looking good or pleasing someone else), you too will be amazed at how good things will start to feel and look in your life.
I can’t wait to hear how it goes for you.