One of the first things I often prescribe new coaching clients is to begin a practice of extreme self care. Self care has become such a secondary thing in our lives with kids, chores, work, school, relationship, community, and on and on. We often put our own needs on the back burner so long it takes getting sick or a breakdown before we’ll let ourselves relax. Papering ourselves…what’s that?
Ok, some of you might have the whole pampering and self care thing handled, but if you’re reading this it’s because you’re looking for ideas to take better care of yourself.
Good for you!
I’m such a fan of self care that I am a stand that all women (and men) introduce more self care and self love into their lives wherever and whenever possible.
What is a Day of Decadence?
I’ll describe what a Day of Decadence means for me and what it often includes. My hope is that you’ll be inspired by the concept that you’ll schedule one for yourself.
The idea for a Day of Decadence came after an extremely busy period in my life. Things were moving at 10x speed and there was no vacation getaway or funds in the bank for a long weekend out of town.
As I looked ahead to my weekend after a long work week I knew that if I didn’t drop the to-do list and pick up the self care checklist I was going to start the following work week even more behind and lacking energy.
So that’s just what I did.
Here’s what I did to create my first Day of Decadence:
1. Food/drinks – I filled my shelves with all of the necessities I would need to eat for the day. In addition, I splurged and allowed myself a few of those goodies you might serve to friends or on special occasions. Heck…this was a Day of Decadence. It was practically a Day of Independence and a federal holiday. Why not have lots of yummies around (mind you, careful not to select foods that could trigger a binge if you’re in that window of recovery.)
2. Movies and magazines – I bought lots of girlie and travel magazines. The fun stuff I could just veg out on and not anything business or would trigger me to want to start some big house project. The less motivated I was to-do stuff the better I would do at spoiling myself into happy. I rented a few movies that I knew would light me up – nothing too serious or dramatic. Light, funny and/or romantic was the way I went. You might choose a documentary if you’d like to use this time to feed your mind.
3. A tidy house – I decided to straighten up the house before the weekend so I wouldn’t feel so compelled to pick up a broom or dust a damn thing. House chores are not a part of a Day of Decadence. If you don’t have time or money to have the house tidy before you begin – just promise yourself you won’t clean. Think like a queen…would a queen dust or vacuum when she’s tending to herself? Hell no. And neither will you.
4. Sacred space – there is a lot you can do here to create an environment that nurtures your heart and spirit. I burned some essential oils and lit candles off and on through the day and night. I also had a huge stash of pillows and blankets so I made a fort in my front room. I moved cushions off the couch and onto the floor to make the entire front room like on big bohemian tent. In different DoD’s I have pushed two couches together to make one big bed-like space where I can fill it up with pillows and blankets. Very cozy!
5. Tune out – the level with which you can turn off the outside world is up to you. Most of the time I let the people I’m closest to know I’m not available that day and it’s no problem. If you want to keep in communication, do that. This is your Day of Decadence. I do no internet, no phone and no TV. I only feed myself what I want to take in that day.
6. No schedule or have-to’s – I’m pretty Type A person so having a day without a set schedule is a breakthrough by itself. On my Days of Decadence there is absolutely nothing I have to do. Everything is what I want to do…when I want to do it. Once or twice I’ve jumped in my car and ran out for a pedicure or massage, but that’s pretty hard to do without an appointment. The day starts when I get up and ends when I feel like going to bed.
7. Rest and more rest – if there’s anything I think we could do with more of in our lives it’s a nap. I tell ya having all those pillows in the living room like one big bed is really conducive to rest and napping. You can’t have enough chill and rest on a Day of Decadence. Get your exercise and have-to’s out of the way before you wake up that day. The only exercise I recommend on this day is maybe a walk to get some air or see some nature, but nothing hard core or scheduled like a workout class. You can do that another day – this is about self care and while exercise is self care for your body, it has a different purpose and feeling.
8. Be unapologetic – I never apologize when I take a Day of Decadence. I completely give up that this level of decadence is my reward and right as a person. I deserve it not because I work so hard and have earned it – I deserve it because I’m born worthy.
9. Recognize the gift – self care is one of the greatest gifts we give the people in our lives. I remember an old Jim Rohn quote “I’ll take care of me for you and you take care of you for me.” That to me has several notions, but when it is applied to self care I say that we are much more able to be our highest and best selves when we care and nurture our needs. If you pamper yourself, get lots of rest, and slow down your momentum to a place of peace or happiness you are then able to go into the world and spread that energy to the people around you.
10. Do only what you want to do – on this day with no agenda, schedule or have-to’s your practice will be learning to feel for what feels best. I will wake up and then do whatever inspired action comes to mind. I’ll feel my way through my day by asking myself “what would feel great now or next?” When an idea comes I check in with myself and then go with the best feeling thought I have. This I think is the ultimate freedom and opens up our spirit for more connection and trusting our inner guidance.
While this is my checklist for a Day of Decadence yours can look completely different and unique to you. I don’t want you to walk away from this and not set yourself up for some extreme self care.
So, here’s my invitation to you…pick up your calendar or find a date that looks like it could work for your own Day of Decadence and commit to having it. Or say something like “I commit to having at least one Day of Decadence within the next 30, 60 or 90 days.”
We can do that!
You may need support and resources, but it’s possible.
This can and will happen for you if you decide right now to do it.
Will you commit to having a Day of Decadence? Even start with a 1/2 day if that’s all you can do to start.
Something for heavens sake is better than nothing.
Please share below what you’re committing to and what you got out of this for yourself.
With love and light,