If there’s anything about life after bulimia I write about, talk about, or blog about more than any other topic it’s self-love. Or at least that’s the story I tell myself ;-).
You see, in my eyes self love is so important to happiness I don’t think a day goes by where I don’t inquire into my own heart how I’m treating myself.
Am I being kind to myself?
Am I doing this because I want to?
Am I going to let what that person said matter?
What can I do to be kind to myself today?
What would make me feel better in this moment?
What would I do if I treated myself with extreme self care?
Do I want to schedule in some more pampering or relaxing time?
“I’m feeling a little run down/tired today” – am I taking good care of myself?
What do I need most today?
As a fellow woman with a mind that never stops spinning, I’m sure you can relate to the endless barrage of questions and thoughts that swirl around in your head each day. The key is to guiding those thoughts in an empowering direction and away from dis-empowering/negative thoughts. Negative does not serve me and I’m each day giving it up. Even a smidgin of negativity can attract to it more negative and then it’s harder to get back to that positive vibration I want to live at.
Tips for Practicing Self Love
I read this great post recently from Pick Your Brain on Self Love and it inspired me to share some of my own tips with you here. I’ll first share their tips and then add mine to it below…
From Pick Your Brain, here are suggested ways to mastering the art of self love:
- Find your core set of values and don’t waver from those.
- Stop surrounding yourself with people whose words and actions are toxic.
- Take care of your body.
- Find the ways of working or living that you enjoy and do those.
- Make good decisions.
- Speak to yourself gently and with kind intentions.
Gosh there’s pure wisdom in those words.
Now for a few tips of my own:
- Put yourself at the top of your to-do list: we all have busy lives these days. If you’re not putting you as the #1 priority before/above other things you will quickly find yourself at the bottom. And then you’ll wonder why you’re run down, frustrated, and feeling depleted. You have to participate in your rescue and you do that by making your needs the priority. ALL things (even your kids somehow) need to come second to what you need. This doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t say good morning or get your kids off to school before you do your yoga or take a hot bath, but you put that exercise or meditation on your agenda and keep that appointment with your self.
- Be self aware: our feelings are access to our selves. If we’re not feeling good in the moment, it’s because we’ve lost our connection with our inner being. Source. We are now treading in a direction or working on something that could take us further away from our purpose and joy. Be aware of your feelings will help you stay on track. When you’re aware of your feelings you’re then also able to prioritize those feelings and start acting and being in the world in a way that makes you more happy. None of us is consciously choosing to be unhappy…we’re just choosing to be unconscious of our feelings or make them not matter. They do matter and being more aware will be the path to feeling your way to happiness.
- Stop doing or the art of saying “NO”: we bulimics are a people-pleasing bunch. We always want other people to like and accept us because we have trouble with our identity and liking ourselves for who we are – just the way we are. The art of saying now and stop doing what doesn’t serve you is about feeling empowered that you know what you want and what you don’t want. When you feel that sinking gut or your energy just tells you “something’s off here” – that’s a sign you’re going towards something or are about to take on something that you’re probably doing for someone else, but isn’t going to serve you. Stop doing those things that don’t make you feel good and start saying no when you mean no. It’ll take some practice, but you’ll get the hang of it and will be amazed how much better you feel when you do.
- Find easy things to love first: this lesson is one I’m still learning thanks to Abraham-Hicks. Abraham is one of my great mentors and teaches that trying to pick something you’ve practiced (like self-hatred) for a long time and have a lot of experience doing will take a while to unravel and put forth different energy about. Abraham suggests we focus on something we do resonate or vibrate highly with (like loving your pet or kids or a beautiful sunset) and concentrate and notice how easy it is to love that object for a few seconds/minute. Then we can slowly turn our attention to our selves and apply that love to our selves. It may bounce you out and you find you’re forcing it…step back and go back to the object you can love unconditionally. Practice loving it unconditionally, then turn back to yourself and try to say some nice things to yourself. If you bounce out again and can’t feel that way towards yourself at the time, it’s ok. You tried. Come back at an easier time. When you’re high flying and feeling good, you might try congratulating yourself about what you achieved, appreciating something about yourself, doing something nice for yourself in that moment (my favorite is self-shoulder massage) and see if you can shine that loving light upon your self. This takes practice and you have the rest of your life to adore yourself. Have fun with it.
I’ll close with one final thing and that’s to look for self love inspiration in the world. I’m becoming quite the fan of Pinterest. Here’s my board I call Eating Disorder Recovery Quotes. I use it as a way of washing self love and happiness over my mind and heart from time to time and then share what I find with others. I hope you’ll enjoy it.
What about you? Do you have any great self-love stories or tips to share? How DO you or WOULD you show your self some love?
Please share your comments below.