Feeling frustrated [with yourself] and want to create a lasting change in your life? Here's…
During a group coaching and connection call I had with my secret Facebook group I was reminded how everything we feel is a result of the story we tell ourselves.
You see, the quality of your life, your present experience, the emotions you feel are a result of the story you’re making up in your mind.
Every situation. Every moment. They’re all stories.
Every thought you have about the past or future is a story. The data of life is filtered by our brain and stored in our mind as a story about the way things are, the way other people are…and even the way we are.
Right now while you’re reading this your mind is processing the information you’re taking in and there’s a dialogue going on inside your head. It may sound like…”Is this helping me?” or “I’m so tired, I should get off the computer and go to bed” or “It’s relaxing to read Polly’s posts and I always feel a little better when I do.”
Whatever your present emotion is it’s always determined by two things: (1) what you’re focused on and (2) the story you’re telling yourself about what you’re focused on.
Here’s my video about our storytelling and how to create better feeling emotions with intentional storytelling.
To summarize…you’ve got to pay attention to how you’re feeling and the story you are making up about what’s in front of you (or the past or the future you’re focused on) if you want to begin to feel better.
It seems like a lot of people have conditioned themselves with old patterns of storytelling that are disempowering, negative, and even hurtful towards themselves. It’s no wonder we’re so mentally exhausted by the end of the day…we’re doing battle every day with our mind!
If you had to go through life with a close friend who was always talking to you the way you talk to yourself you’d either cut them out of your life or slap ‘em! At the very least I hope you’d say something like “Geez! Do you always have to have such a pessimistic outlook?! Can’t you just see the bright side for a change?!”
Ok, maybe your story isn’t negative 100% of the time. Yet if you’re not living as happily as you’d like I guarantee it’s because of your old mind tapes, that disempowering storyteller in your mind, is stuck in a negative groove and keeps spitting out “what’s wrong” instead of “what’s right” about the world.
Know what I’m saying?! Uh huh…I thought you would.
If you want to be happier, you can start by noticing when you’re not feeling good. I know…seems counterintuitive. Yet this is where the problem lies. Let me explain.
When you begin to notice you’re in a bad feeling place you can then begin to become more aware your negative storyteller. Listen in for what story she’s making up that has things not going well or upset with the people around you or worse if she’s taken to beating you up for something you’ve done or haven’t done.
You’re always telling yourself a story, so start noticing the story you’re telling yourself throughout your day. Then the next step to feeling better is to begin training your brain to see the brighter side of things.
It takes practice. Boy does it take practice. [Just being real with you.]
Look…what’s wrong is always available. But so is what’s right!
Come on. You’re already living in the story you choose, so begin to be more deliberate with your storytelling!
Start telling yourself a brighter, better feeling story. Tell yourself empowering things about your life, the people around you and especially about the way you are. I guarantee you’ll begin to feel a little better each time.
Remember: practice makes permanent.
Practice. Practice. Practice.
Better feeling thoughts slowly build to a better feeling life.
I hope you’ll watch the video earlier for a little further explanation about how choose your thoughts and create new story with “bridge words”.
Your practice assignment: I invite you to notice the stories in your mind this week. Practice whenever you can noticing the story you’re telling yourself. Once you notice a negative story intentionally shift the story and you’ll shift your experience (emotions) along with it.
One good week of practice in shifting the story can begin to build momentum in a new direction. It’s like a new muscle. A better-feeling-storytelling-muscle. (…sort of has a nice ring to it, right?)
Practice your new storytelling muscle each day and let me know how it feels after a few days.
Here…let’s take a quick minute to start your practice right NOW.
What’s your present emotion?
Really…I’m asking you to pause for 5 seconds and check in with yourself and feel for your present emotion.
Whatever it is…is that the way you want to feel right now?
Would you like to feel a little better with your first practice? Great!
Ok, now that you know what you’re feeling look at what’s the story you are telling yourself in the background. Go ahead…listen for the story.
Just notice it.
Is it something that happened this week? Something that someone or you did earlier today? Are you in the future…perhaps afraid or anxious about something?
Ok, just notice what it is.
Now, what’s a better feeling story you can tell yourself about whatever is going on in the background of your mind? What can you tell yourself instead and feel better? Lean towards a slightly better feeling story (or step up to a really good feeling story!)
What story would move you up the emotional scale to a better feeling place? Just tweak the story slightly more positively or go more general about the topic. Shift the story just a little…or a lot…and your corresponding emotion will be better.
Did you do it? If you told a better story, now check in with yourself and ask “what’s my present emotion?”
Feeling a little better? Slightly or a lot?
This is the practice of living a deliberate life and it begins in your mind.
You have the power to shift your emotions…that fast.
You get to choose what you focus on and what you make up about what is. The story is yours to make up. Don’t be a sloppy storyteller.
Start to tell a better feeling story and you’ll feel better.
Take this into your week and I’d love to hear how it goes after a few days. If you really start to get good at this, you can shift the story quickly. I practice this all the time so I’m really good at first noticing when I don’t feel good and then shifting the story. Just takes practice to feel better.
It’s a lifestyle choice. Living in a beautiful state as much as possible.
Choose to feel better, do a little work and you will feel better.