Becky’s Anorexia Recovery Story

Age 16: I Know I Came Here for a Reason, I’m Gonna Live

When I was younger I was a little chubby short girl with a terrible boy’s hair cut. From the start of 1st grade until the end of second grade I was always bullied for being that short little girl that was a little chubby.

I couldn’t take it anymore so I just stopped eating.

No one noticed so I knew no one cared.

I’ve had a serious eating disorder since the age of 9 when I was diagnosed with severe depression all the way until the age of 13. I never thought it was such a big problem until the night I fell ill and my kidneys began to fail and no one knew why.

No one but me.

My doctor asked me if I’ve cut back on eating. I faked an expression and said, “Of course not.”  Well, he could see through my eyes just how badly I was suffering.

I finally got help and began to gain weight again. Everyone was happy; everyone but me.

When I looked in the mirror I saw a fat, overweight ugly girl and wondered, “Why me? Why am I so unloved?”

I felt this way for several years until I turned 14 and met my boyfriend who I am still with (I’m 16 now). I felt so loved and happy, but I still had something missing.  My boyfriend always joked around with me saying, “You’re like a skeleton.”  I’d laugh and pretend I wasn’t hurt, but really I was.

A few months after we began dating he realized I was getting skinnier and skinnier and said something to my mom. I got help once again.

After a year I graduated from therapy and my boyfriend said you look so beautiful, and he told me never worry about your weight. “I love you at 90 pounds and I’ll love you at 190.” It was so sweet. But still in my head I was thinking, “How could you love me if I was that big?! I don’t even love me and I’m this small.”

I eat now, but still struggle with my disorder. It’s a hard war to fight but I’ll try my best until I win.

Cause I was born for a reason and I’m gonna live for that reason.